snow

2005-01-20T03:36:00.000+01:00

last week

your eyes

observed the snow

suddenly a smile

was formed

of pleasure

and amazement

How different

our worlds are

I saw the flakes

and playing children

snowmen

and snowballs

and hot cocoa later on

you saw the grey sky

and white fluffy

dancing

worlds

like your own

the pregnancy

2005-01-20T01:35:00.000+01:00

.
Like all my children he was very wished for and very welcome.

In a way he was a surprise, because when I wanted another baby I was pregnant immediately. None ever expected that too happen after my history.

The pregnancy resembled in many ways the others before.
In the beginning blood loss and a lot of nausea. It wasn't morning sickness, it was daysickness. LOL!

He was growing according to plan.
Because my second baby died, this pregnancy was watched and controled carefully.

From the 17th week on I had more than the usual braxton hicks contractions.
At first it freightened me, but as the pregnancy was still going on after each week of fear, I began to trust that nature would take care.

I took as much rest as possible. And as I'm a non-smoker, non-alcoholdrinker, there were as less bad influences as possible.

Soon I had to go to hospital for a check up each week.
I had pregnancy-diabetes, and valued the care.

Like with all the other pregnancies I knew from my feelings that this would be a boy.
And as with all my children I expected that I would come to know his name.

One day I saw a boy in India, weaving a beautiful piece of art.
I felt for this little boy. Subjected to youth labor, and used because he was already a great artist.
His name was Nathee...

So I thought that would be the name for my baby.
But two days later in my dream at night I heard:
It's Nioni-Nathee.

And so his name was pronunciated Nio, and written Nyo.

I'm told that in South Africa Nioni means "little bird".

After 36 weeks the date of delivery was set, because the gynaecologist didn't want me to carry this large baby any longer.

The evening before the delivery I had two huge contractions and hoped that this would be the start.... but I went to bed disappointed....
My frist two children were born at home, and I loved it.
The tird baby was born in hospital, wich was not the way I felt most comfortable.
And this would be another hospital delivery.

his morning

2005-01-16T17:48:00.000+01:00

His feet are awake
before the early morning light

no interest
to see the clock tick night away

downstairs are books
and buttons
picture movies on TV

his day begins
with hunger
and none to bring him food

he doesn't care
the TV adds will feed him

so will his thumb

his day begins

his mathbook on the table
invites him to come in
he makes his homework

he is best at school
but still his brains couldn't win
a world of love and smiles

a voice on TV sounds he doesn't hear
it's a different world
a different place
but it's near

Laane...

snow

the pregnancy

his morning